That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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