He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
