Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
