I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
