I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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