I'm jealous of your bromance
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
