It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This toilet bowl is my home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
