she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
