We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i've created a new STD.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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