Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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