Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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