I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Can I color on your dick again?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
