So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
