Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
