so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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