I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
