I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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