I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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