The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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