I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
