she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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