in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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