When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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