you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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