I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
