I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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