You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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