look no pants
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
