paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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