i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
