he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
