I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
