Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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