her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
