I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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