How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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