What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
