I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize