I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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