That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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