I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
