There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
