At least make sure they are 18
Why
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
