just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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