The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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