I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We had to coat check the pizza.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
