I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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