Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
