I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
