we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
