i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
