I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
