Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
