just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
