the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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