You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
