a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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