i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You smell like stripper and shame
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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