he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She bit a glass in half.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
