Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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