I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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