I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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