Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator. http://tfl.nu/x5we

Replies (18) Good night (2694) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock. http://tfl.nu/z9t5

Replies (18) Good night (4022) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/i2tt

Replies (40) Good night (1389) Bad night (9703) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr

Replies (31) Good night (7762) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co

Replies (11) Good night (4824) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(805): View more from California

my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad. http://tfl.nu/gbnx

Replies (16) Good night (6771) Bad night (799)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9

Replies (13) Good night (2849) Bad night (1705) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever http://tfl.nu/615b

Replies (11) Good night (5582) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u

Replies (20) Good night (2599) Bad night (1300)
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember http://tfl.nu/p8oz

Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war http://tfl.nu/yle2

Replies (12) Good night (2497) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it http://tfl.nu/8smb

Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school. http://tfl.nu/n19e

Replies (10) Good night (1023) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows. http://tfl.nu/kzgw

Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER. http://tfl.nu/32pn

Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: