Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

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  (405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ... http://tfl.nu/68st
  Replies (16) Good night (3245) Bad night (597)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies

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  (631): im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies http://tfl.nu/qgfc
  Replies (64) Good night (19594) Bad night (1399)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

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  (360): my secret santa just gave me a pregency test http://tfl.nu/rgpa
  Replies (20) Good night (1274) Bad night (6355)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (5834) Bad night (1710)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

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  (541): we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory http://tfl.nu/4fuz
  Replies (59) Good night (5496) Bad night (1024)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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  (612): i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high. http://tfl.nu/z4jl
  Replies (25) Good night (5664) Bad night (810)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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  (+44): If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook http://tfl.nu/6gha
  Replies (8) Good night (5681) Bad night (1006)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.

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  (203): Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/8wo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3205) Bad night (830)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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  (603): Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone. http://tfl.nu/7k4a
  Replies (12) Good night (1065) Bad night (2482)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

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  (781): I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance. http://tfl.nu/3nuq
  Replies (3) Good night (3039) Bad night (790)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.

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  (270): Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best. http://tfl.nu/nsnm
  Replies (4) Good night (2212) Bad night (976)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2193) Bad night (572)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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  (845): I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/33mk
  Replies (6) Good night (1841) Bad night (400)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment

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  (978): He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment http://tfl.nu/j7an
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (596)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can give you five reasons its your baby

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.

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  (508): I can give you five reasons its your baby (978): and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl. http://tfl.nu/cjus
  Replies (5) Good night (1220) Bad night (482)

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