some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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