Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now

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  (586): I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now http://tfl.nu/yx20
  Replies (1) Good night (1724) Bad night (747)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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  (978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you. http://tfl.nu/pcz9
  Replies (16) Good night (975) Bad night (3717)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ill bring the camera dont start without me

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  (215): two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup (1-215): ill bring the camera dont start without me http://tfl.nu/yr2f
  Replies (26) Good night (1385) Bad night (4099)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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  (781): Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night. http://tfl.nu/89jq
  Replies (15) Good night (1823) Bad night (4234)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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  (267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54
  Replies (26) Good night (4876) Bad night (1235)
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  (818): View more from California

  The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.

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  (818): The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again. http://tfl.nu/z8ef
  Replies (11) Good night (4588) Bad night (1067)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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  (704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7
  Replies (10) Good night (1640) Bad night (976)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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  (443): well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/je7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1811) Bad night (783)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato

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  (212): Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato http://tfl.nu/ss5k
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (400)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

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  (248): Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum" http://tfl.nu/5h4q
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (401)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

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  (802): Can you bring me the toilet please http://tfl.nu/af5u
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (483)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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  (425): The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house. http://tfl.nu/wynr
  Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (393)
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  (858): View more from California

  Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.

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  (858): Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success. http://tfl.nu/49ha
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (346)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home

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  (630): Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/5dmw
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (235)
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  (925): View more from California

  Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.

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  (925): Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me. http://tfl.nu/oz9r
  Replies (2) Good night (122) Bad night (426)

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