Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(305): View more from Florida

Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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(417): View more from Missouri

When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?

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(+93): View more from

5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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(805): View more from California

Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Mischief managed.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?

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