Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.