Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (1017) Bad night (539)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

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  (813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came. http://tfl.nu/sa7y
  Replies (30) Good night (7149) Bad night (876)
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  (951): View more from California

  I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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  (951): I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it http://tfl.nu/eb7i
  Replies (5) Good night (1005) Bad night (3272)
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  (650): View more from California

  Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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  (650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml
  Replies (40) Good night (5787) Bad night (1519)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet

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  (954): Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet http://tfl.nu/1ehg
  Replies (14) Good night (814) Bad night (3088)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

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  (605): I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other http://tfl.nu/boea
  Replies (24) Good night (5626) Bad night (1628)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple

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  (904): We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple http://tfl.nu/4e1c
  Replies (19) Good night (10017) Bad night (997)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

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  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4858) Bad night (836)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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  (413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345
  Replies (5) Good night (3187) Bad night (878)
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  (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

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  (518): bad decision saturdays are such a good decision http://tfl.nu/ffui
  Replies (3) Good night (3602) Bad night (852)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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  (503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c
  Replies (4) Good night (2169) Bad night (1116)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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  (915): Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up http://tfl.nu/dczq
  Replies (6) Good night (3526) Bad night (1249)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.

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  (904): I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch. http://tfl.nu/opx0
  Replies (15) Good night (1015) Bad night (3280)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

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  (570): I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce http://tfl.nu/7uec
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (553)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage

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  (610): I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage http://tfl.nu/3lzu
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (294)

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