This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
