you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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