I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
